spoken-not-written:

THE CUTEST THING IS WHEN SOMEONE CAN’T STOP SMILING LIKE THEY SMILE THEN THEY TRY TO NOT SMILE THEN THEY END UP SMILING MORE AND THEIR CHEEKS GO ALL CUTE AND SAPOIDSP[DOSADPSA[]PS[]DSAPD[]SAP

queue 
shutupaubrey:

hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital

shutupaubrey:

hi can you direct me to the nearest hospital

queue 
"They’re like, 12"
The correct way to refer to anyone younger than you (via assguard)
queue 

Real Hacker vs Movie Hacker

  • real hacker: So you say you're gonna break into our local nuclear power plant? I really don't think that's possible
  • movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* I'm in
  • real hacker: But the power plant's computers aren't even connected to the internet
  • movie hacker: I said I'm in. Now I'll cause a meltdown *types a few keystrokes* Done
  • real hacker: What do you mean done? There have to be many redundant safeguards in place to stop a meltdown. In any case, a meltdown would take time.
  • movie hacker: Want me to break into the CIA next?
  • real hacker: I don't even think you should attempt to...
  • movie hacker: *types a few keystrokes* Too late. I'm in
queue 

Characters seen in Sherlock

queue 

emopunkclifford:

but remember when they did a photoshoot without luke I still laugh

image

image

image

image

queue 

A child’s voice, however honest and true, is meaningless to those who’ve forgotten how to listen.

queue 
"…because it’s so directed so well, you don’t see it. The looks on our faces, every time somebody shooting at us or something blows up when we were running for cover… that’s real fear.”
queue 

a-goddessofmischief:

parnela-lansbury:

kenezbian:

soulmate AU where you wake up on your 18th birthday with the first words your soulmate will say to you tattooed on your body so you’ll know them when you meet them

image

admittedly, there are a few bugs in the system

I think its perfect.

queue 

marblechemist:

labyrinth-of-lucifer:

I really fucking hate it when guys act like marriage is literally the end of their lives like if it’s so fucking bad, and you hate it so much, don’t get fucking married and put your spouse through hell because you’re shit. If you feel trapped you’re doing it wrong.

Filed under: Sitcom Tropes That Need to Go Away Forever

queue 

vinegod:

Only children be like…: by Josh Peck

queue 

drunkhappy:

why can’t one direction perform at the super bowl and piss off my entire family

queue 

the number of times i think “i don’t care” while people are talking to me is really getting out of hand

queue 

One of the first things they ask you in the ER is to rate your pain on a scale from 1 to 10. I’ve been asked this question hundreds of times and I remember once, when I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my chest was on fire, the nurse asked me to rate the pain. Though I couldn’t speak, I held up 9 fingers. Later, when I started feeling better, the nurse came in and she called me a fighter. “You know how I know?” she said, “You called a 10 a 9.” But that wasn’t the truth.

I didn’t call it a 9 because I was brave. The reason I called it a 9 was because I was saving my 10…and this was it. 

queue 
©